November 2, 2013


Over the last few weeks I have been working on overcoming something that I have struggled with my entire life. If you know me, you know I am ridiculously shy. The more I get to know someone, the more I become comfortable around people, the more I will open up, let those guards down and talk. I have learned to embrace my shyness. I do try to be more talkative, but I'm not going to change my personality....that's what makes me, Brianna. The thing I have struggled with my entire life is questions. I have always been afraid of asking questions. Why?! I can give you some specific examples of why questions tend to stay at the tip of my tongue rather than ever becoming verbal. 


Put yourself in Susies grade school desk chair for a few minutes. Susies Math teacher {rude,jerk} thinks that each student in her class automatically understands/should easily understand the long ridiculous math equation that she just scribbled on the board. Unfortunately for Susie, something in this math lesson isn't clicking and she simply doesn't get it. She tries. She goes home and practices for hours on these dumb equations and she really tries her best. The next day in class, susie is still struggling. When {rude,jerk} teacher starts scribbling another equation out on the board and asks if any of the students have any questions, Susie decides to raise her hand and ask a question. The teacher calls on her, and as Susie begins to ask the question, {rude,jerk} teachers response to Susie is, "Well Susie, if you would go home and practice, you might understand a little easier." Susie's face floods with deep red of embarrassment and humiliation. 

Poor Susie huh?!? Sadly enough, I know that there are many teachers that are teaching insecure children that respond with careless comments like {rude,jerk} teacher did and scar kids for life when it comes to being confident in asking questions.


When you meet a new friend and you are trying to get to know more about them, the only way to learn is to ask questions. Have you ever asked someone new about there family?!?! This is one thing I REALLY struggle with. I always terribly fear that my question might stir some sort of bad memory. You never know what people have experienced in their life, so thats the second example of questions that surface but never get asked because of f e a r. 

One thing I care tremendously about is peoples feelings. I care. I do. I try to make everyone happy to the best of my ability. I have realized though that  A.) I can either ask questions and seem genuinely interested to learn about people or B.) not ask questions and seem uninterested or self absorbed. If you know me, you know that the self-absorbed part is far from anything I would ever have intended. 

Kids and adults alike hate being made to look stupid. Just don't. Don't make someone feel stupid or incompetent for asking a question.

I am in the process of becoming more confident in asking questions. Its a struggle for me. A BIG one and sometimes painful one. Any tips or encouragement you can give I would love to listen. I will follow up this post with ways that I have figured out to ask better should be a good one!

Thanks for letting me share a few of my struggles and fears.
Bye now

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