November 7, 2013

Asking Questions:Part TWO

Hey hey. Last weekend, I confessed to you one of my largest struggles, asking questions. I've been working HARD on H A R D. So, I wanted to share a few things that have been helping overcome that struggle.

The first thing comes SUPER easy for me. It's simply LISTEN. I love to listen. I could sit in a room and just listen to people for hours without speaking one single word. I had

a great friend just a few months back point out my quietness. We had only been around each other in large group settings, so one day we met up on my lunch break at a coffee shop in a smaller setting. He pointed out something I had never really payed too much attention too. He said, "I've noticed that when we are in a larger group, you are a little more quiet than when its just a few of us." My response to that statement was "I'm a listener. I love to listen and just take it all in." I had never realized up until that point that anyone even noticed my quiet demeanor, and at that moment is when I realized that t might be something I should challenge myself with. It's a struggle...a really tough one for me. I've always been a great listener. But if there's no response after the listening....have I helped anyone if they need a response or if they need someone to talk them through something?! no. I've helped no one at all.
The second thing is DON'T STOP. {head bobs to the tune of Miley Cyrus "and we can't stop. and we won't stoooooop" } Have you ever hear the saying, "there are no dumb questions, except the ones that aren't asked." I think it goes something like that....anyway, Keep asking questions. Don't stop after just one or two. Good questions usually come after you have asked a few 'bad' ones. Don't let fear of a wrong question keep you from asking either. You can take what you learn from the simple questions and develop more complex and deep, meaningful questions.
Have you ever assumed something about someones?! Then later found out it was COMPLETELY wrong?!!? Lets take name pronunciation for example. Have you ever wondered if you were pronouncing someones name right, but you didn't want to offend them by asking them, "now, how exactly do you pronounce your name?" so you proceed to ASSUME how their name is pronounced, and you go on to call them the wrong name for months, maybe even years, maybe even forever. Let me just tell you, being someone who's name is mispronounced on a daily basis, we would rather you just ask. For obvious reasons....We aren't going to be like, whoa now, hold pronounce my name {fill in the blank}. That would sound SO rude. I would never correct someone on the pronunciation of my name unless they were to ask. So back to questioning...The third thing that can help with question asking is to never assume something, because odds are your assumption might just be wrong.
The fourth thing is to CARE. genuinely CARE and be interested and kind hearted and giving and loving. If we act genuine, and act interested our questions become more genuine and more interested. 
The last one is that I've put myself in someone else's shoes and thought about from an outer body experience if you will, what questions do I like to be asked by others? What questions am I able to open up to, and be 100% Brianna when answering? What things spark my curiosity. But here's the catcher with this. You can't just ask questions from your point of view. We all have different lives. We all have different paths. We all have different stories. Go learn more. Go read more. Go explore more. Go Travel more. With more life experiences comes growth and through that you will be able to grasp at more interesting questions!

Hope you have enjoyed this. I have THOROUGHLY enjoyed this challenge to myself. Its difficult. For me, it can be super simple to run back into my cave sometimes in larger settings, but I am pretty bull-headed as my momma likes to say. So with any challenge, I take it by the horns. I will continuously be working hard on this and will be posting about questions a lot.

Bye now,

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